I will not coddle to your stupidity: “Time heals all wounds” is true, Tumblr

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So, I saw this image recently cross-posted from Tumblr to Facebook by one of my friends, and this is some of the stupidest crap I’ve seen in a while.

“They say time heals all wounds, I disagree…” and then goes on to add to the idiom something about scar tissue.

Guess what? If you have a scar, you’re healed! Ask any surgeon or general physician. Ask some-one who has had several surgeries (like myself). Scars are proof of having healed from something. If you have to have a life-saving surgery, you’re going to have a scar. Sure, some surgeons can stitch you up so as to potentially minimise the appearance of scars, but dependent on the nature of the surgery, genetics, age, and other potential factors, the scar will still be visible, one way or another. Hell, if you know what to look for, you can even spot the scars on some of the best face lifts that Midtwentieth Hollywood surgeons cranked out with succession.

And say it’s heart surgery, or some other major internal organ —you’re probably not going to be the same, you’re probably not going to be able to do everything you were previously able to, but you have you survived, you have healed, and you have the scars to prove it. Even Alexis St. Martin technically healed, just not in the ideal manner for his quality of life; ask any body piercer, a fistula is a healing, it is skin regrowing itself in a manner that forms a channel.

“Time heals all wounds”? Yeah, generally it’s true; physically, if you don’t heal from your wounds, you can get infected and die — and emotionally, if you don’t heal, you can breakdown. But if you have “scar tissue”, physical or emotional, you have HEALED. If you can get on with your life in a meaningful way, even if not the same meaning as you had before, you have HEALED. Healing isn’t about restoring everything to its previous state; healing is about the body, or the psyche, taking care of itself so that you can move on from the experience and continue to learn, grow, and live —sometimes you have to do things to help the process of healing along, and healing itself means you will never be 100% as you previously were, but oh well, no-one said life was easy.

Words mean things. They don’t always mean what you might think they mean or what some-one might intend for them to mean. Do some people throw that idiom around to be dismissive of your problems and your healing process? Absolutely —but is it really any less stupid to basically undefine “healing” because someone else was a stupid jerk? Absolutely not.

“Time heals all wounds”, as a generalisation, is true. Scar tissue is healing. Healing is not about returning to an untouched state of being, it’s about patching up and moving on.

About Ruadhán McElroy

Ruadhán has been a traditional Hellenic polytheist for about a decade, and has also maintained devotions to Eros and Apollon most of that time; his status as a devotee of Nyx is more recent. He also paints, makes music, makes jewellery, and writes novels set in the Mod Revival (UK) and Swampie (Oz) subcultures of the 1980s. He also gets a lot of odd little experiences that he jokes will forever render him an insufferable Goth.

New Year’s Resolutions

Post more!
Yeah, that should be obvious… Moving along now….

Make some clothes.
My philosophical calling is that of a dandy, an aesthete, and I’m very hard to fit, being short and stocky. I have a 21″ inside leg, and my shoes are a UK5½ (or USM6wide). Making shoes is not one of my goals, but making at least two suits is a goal I’ve set for this year —one summer, one winter. It’s been a while since I’ve sewed, and my machine is currently in repair, but the only reason it’s in repair is cos it jammed up when I attempted to mend some curtains to test it (the repair shop assured me that the jam was not my fault, but cos the machine had probably gone years without a tune-up) — I’m impressed with how much I remembered, so even if I don’t end up finishing a full two suits, I’ll be further along than some-one who’s never done this before.

Improve my physical state.
I’m grateful every day that, unlike two of my sisters, I’m not so fat I cannot breathe properly, nor have I ever been, but I could stand to look better, and as an aesthete, I’m expected to. There’s a gym in fair walking distance from me, and it doesn’t require signing a contract to use their facilities; it’s inexpensive and if I’m dreadfully broke, I can skip a month.

I really have no excuses at this point.

Resume work on the garden.
Hopefully taking a little exercise will improve my abilities to do more in the garden, but I’m not expecting miracles, as it was likely my crooked spine (and not any fat bastard-related aches and paints) that kept me from doing too much in 2011.

Continue to celebrate love, life, beauty…
…in all forms.

About Ruadhán McElroy

Ruadhán has been a traditional Hellenic polytheist for about a decade, and has also maintained devotions to Eros and Apollon most of that time; his status as a devotee of Nyx is more recent. He also paints, makes music, makes jewellery, and writes novels set in the Mod Revival (UK) and Swampie (Oz) subcultures of the 1980s. He also gets a lot of odd little experiences that he jokes will forever render him an insufferable Goth.

Balance

One thing that has maintained my interest in the Hellenic religion, no matter how much some of my co-religionists may drive me nuts, is the Apollonian ideal of Moderation and Balance. In fact, this ideal seems to be held by some of the seemingly “saner” Pagan religions practised more widely in North Amerika than Hellenismos. I have to agree that, to the average Abrahamic religionist, Polytrheism may seem a little “unhinged”; I’ll agree that it’s not as common and so those who have it deeply ingrained in their thoughts and beliefs that Monotheism is “normal”, the belief in multiple Gods and Goddesses may seem “abnormal” and in this society “abnormal” often translates to being synonymous with “crazy”.

In my own personal practises, I balance out a lot of the “crazy” (not that I actually think anything I do makes me certifiable, in fact, my therapist even agrees that it doesn’t) with a lot of rationality. I examine my seemingly mystical experiences with logic, just to rule out perfectly rational explanations before jumping to the most fantastical and least probabl explanations, first. Most of the time, something can be explained with something utterly mundane, on rare occasion, it can’t.

Now, acceptance of the mundane does not necessitate disbelief in the fantastic; but the mundane and the fantastic do and should co-exist in balance with each-other. A friend of mine once explained the Apollonian / Dionysian paradigm as sort of a slightly more complex take on the Yin-Yang symbolism — a true Yin-Yang symbol contains a seed of the other within each half of the circle. Logic and Science may be within Apollon’s domain, but so are oracles and mysicism, something that has always been associated with those living outside the realms of “normalcy”. Ecstasy and “wildness” may be in Dionysos’ domains, but so is the ability to convincingly put on a mask, even for a short time, thus necessitating a need for some degree of control.

While Nietzsche painted Apollon and Dionysos in a sort of “yin and yang” fashion, he missed the part where balance is necessary for the two to be complete, and thus painted a picture not to two of the Theoi worshipped widely across ancient Hellas, but two 100% Black/White extremes. Nietzsche’s Apollon isn’t about “moderation in all things”, but about total control over oneself. His Dionysos is closer to the “Jimbo Morrison” in Oliver Stone’s highly fictionalised and exaggerated biopic, The Doors: a near-constant ecstatic, perpetually drunk, out of control. Ray Manzarek has since said that the fictional character based on Jim Morrison in the Stone film was very unlike the Jim he knew in real life — rather than the poet and philosopher he became friends with, the true Dionysos to Ray’s Apollon who, in Manzarek’s words, “[would] kiss and love through the connection made through [their] music”.

Though Dionysos is typically regarded as “rustic” to Apollon’s “urban”, Dionysos’s can be felt in the theatres of the cities, the nightclubs, the basement parties that nobody wants to admit were as planned out as they were. Likewise, Apollon does tend to venture out into the woods to commune with his Nymphai and cry out against the death of Hyakintos and other loves lost. It’s all done in perfect balance, perfect harmony. To let ecstasy overshadow reason or vice-versa is to invite total madness and spiritual impurity. Recognise when you need to reel in one for moderation and strive for the ability to recognise those moments.

About Ruadhán McElroy

Ruadhán has been a traditional Hellenic polytheist for about a decade, and has also maintained devotions to Eros and Apollon most of that time; his status as a devotee of Nyx is more recent. He also paints, makes music, makes jewellery, and writes novels set in the Mod Revival (UK) and Swampie (Oz) subcultures of the 1980s. He also gets a lot of odd little experiences that he jokes will forever render him an insufferable Goth.