So, I saw this image recently cross-posted from Tumblr to Facebook by one of my friends, and this is some of the stupidest crap I’ve seen in a while.
“They say time heals all wounds, I disagree…” and then goes on to add to the idiom something about scar tissue.
Guess what? If you have a scar, you’re healed! Ask any surgeon or general physician. Ask some-one who has had several surgeries (like myself). Scars are proof of having healed from something. If you have to have a life-saving surgery, you’re going to have a scar. Sure, some surgeons can stitch you up so as to potentially minimise the appearance of scars, but dependent on the nature of the surgery, genetics, age, and other potential factors, the scar will still be visible, one way or another. Hell, if you know what to look for, you can even spot the scars on some of the best face lifts that Midtwentieth Hollywood surgeons cranked out with succession.
And say it’s heart surgery, or some other major internal organ —you’re probably not going to be the same, you’re probably not going to be able to do everything you were previously able to, but you have you survived, you have healed, and you have the scars to prove it. Even Alexis St. Martin technically healed, just not in the ideal manner for his quality of life; ask any body piercer, a fistula is a healing, it is skin regrowing itself in a manner that forms a channel.
“Time heals all wounds”? Yeah, generally it’s true; physically, if you don’t heal from your wounds, you can get infected and die — and emotionally, if you don’t heal, you can breakdown. But if you have “scar tissue”, physical or emotional, you have HEALED. If you can get on with your life in a meaningful way, even if not the same meaning as you had before, you have HEALED. Healing isn’t about restoring everything to its previous state; healing is about the body, or the psyche, taking care of itself so that you can move on from the experience and continue to learn, grow, and live —sometimes you have to do things to help the process of healing along, and healing itself means you will never be 100% as you previously were, but oh well, no-one said life was easy.
Words mean things. They don’t always mean what you might think they mean or what some-one might intend for them to mean. Do some people throw that idiom around to be dismissive of your problems and your healing process? Absolutely —but is it really any less stupid to basically undefine “healing” because someone else was a stupid jerk? Absolutely not.
“Time heals all wounds”, as a generalisation, is true. Scar tissue is healing. Healing is not about returning to an untouched state of being, it’s about patching up and moving on.